what the perfect Godly man looks like- according to a 13 year old

I have recently been digging through some boxes of stuff that my junior high/ high school self stored away in case future Betsy may need it someday. I have pictures, programs from different school functions, prom tickets, and a TON of notes passed between my friends and I. I also have about a thousand and ten notebooks that I used as journals.

perfect godly man

Most of the stuff written in those notebooks would reduce me to a puddle of embarrassment if anyone else besides me read them, because junior high and high school Betsy had a really close relationship with her journals and had some really strange thoughts. But I did find something that I had written that brought me to tears because it truly showed up at just the right moment. There’s absolutely no way that my 13 year old self knew how much I would need what I had written at age 19.

Finding someone you’re compatible with is really hard. And in today’s world, finding a truly Godly man is incredibly difficult. And 13 year old Betsy found a plan for how to find this Godly man, and I’m really thankful I found it 6 years later. (this post is part 1 and I will be posting part 2 soon)

*I’m not taking credit for myself because I’m pretty sure I found this in a book or a magazine, but I didn’t write down where it’s from so I have no source for y’all

Knowing What to Look for in A Godly Man (adapted from an unknown source by my junior high self)

The character of a man that you’re seeking to marry should include the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control {Galatians 5:22-23}

Love: a woman needs to hear a man’s love expressed to her by his words and by his actions

The words of a truly loving man will build you up instead of tear you down, both in private and in public. A man who constantly tears you down does not truly love you. The tone your future husband sets in the home with his words to you will greatly influence your children.

(sidenote: he should love God more than he loves you and his relationship with God should be more important than his relationship with you!!) 


Joy: a man who is in a proper relationship with God will experience a sense of well-being and delight in his God.

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in your young wife” Proverbs 5:18

Ask yourself:

Does he find joy in me?

Does he live a righteous life that God will bless?

Does he complain, or find things to be happy about?

Is being with him good for your emotional health?


Peace: a man who is at peace with God is also a peace-maker; this includes keeping peace in his own relationships and sustaining peace with others

“We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” Romans 5:1

Does he make quarrels worse or better?

Does he enjoy/start drama?


Patience: he should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger

Is he defensive or easily angered?

Is he a good listener?

Does he use patient, gentle words, or demanding, manipulative words?

As kind of a pointless sidenote, I also wanted a guy who accepts all my “cute” quirks (I don’t know why I thought I was cute ??), gives me butterflies, and likes turtles. But anyways…

If you’re single, these questions might be awesome standards for you to set for a future potential husband. If you’re not single, these question are awesome to keep your current relationship in check.

Fruits of the Spirit are considered evidence that someone is actively pursuing a life after God. If the man you’re with/ hoping to be with some day doesn’t have these qualities, you may want to rethink the relationship. It should be clearly evident in him that he is actively chasing after God and desires a deeper relationship with Him.

Look out for part 2 (kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) coming soon!!


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