“relationship goals”

A society obsessed with the image of love but unwilling to put real work into a crumbling marriage.

A young teenage girl pining over her first kiss.

A freshman girl gawking over all these new cute guys all over campus.

Boys that can’t commit to a single girl.

Grown men that whistle at me and my sisters and friends.

Longing for a relationship just so you don’t have to be alone anymore.

Waking up to a different face in their bed every morning.

Dating for “fun”, not for marriage.

 

What has happened to the relationship between men and women? What has happened to love?

Love has turned into “relationship goals”

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#relationship goalseating pizza together, buying a puppy together,

cheering on your favorite team together, having him take you shopping,

expensive dates, traveling together, dreamy vacations,

being silly, sweet good morning messages,

cooking, cleaning, singing, laughing together,

cuddling under blankets, dancing around the kitchen together,

singing and dancing in the rain,

These are the things I longed for as a young teenager. These are the only things that I thought made up a relationship. Things that turned a boy into a boyfriend and best friend all in one. Things that made all the other girls wish they had what I did. The cutesy, flirty texts. The butterflies that never go away. Things that bring joy and fun and laughter to two people in love.

A real relationship is not solely made up of cute dates and pictures, butterflies, and goofing off. All these “goals” paint a picture of a fun, smiley, cutesy relationship, but that’s not always the reality. This damages our perception of our own relationship or our expectations for a future relationship. Of course, these things that people label as “relationship goals” make life with another person fun. So maybe not relationship goals, maybe just… relationship perks, relationship extracurriculars, relationship luxuries, etc… 🙂

#relationship goals

Glorifying these “goals” all over social media gives us girls (and also guys) false expectations of a relationship. These things should not be our goals.

My goal is to learn to love someone who isn’t always lovable.

My goal is to become a godly woman worthy of a godly man, to learn how to serve my future husband in love and with respect.

To be able to swallow my pride and put someone else’s happiness above my own

To look into the eyes of someone who has wronged me and genuinely say “I forgive you”

To look into the eyes of someone I have wronged and admit “I’m sorry”

My goal is to love him like Christ loves me

My goal is to allow him to live and love freely, without trying to change him into who I *think* he should be

To be able to serve the Lord together, with no other motivation other than love

To learn to grow together, both as a couple and as individuals

My goal is to for both of us to point each other toward Christ and encourage our walks with Him.

To be able to use our relationship to spread the love of God toward others.

My goal is to be able to laugh together, cry together, argue, struggle, accuse, forgive, apologize, encourage, uplift, respect, and love each other.

My goal is build a lasting relationship with another human being founded securely on our relationship with God.

I know that a relationship is not easy. I’m learning that. I’m learning that you can’t have these expectations that everything is going to rainbows and sunshine all the time. When two people, with two different sets of DNA, two different upbringings, and separate strengths, weaknesses, and personalities, decide that they want to go through life together, there will inevitably be difficult times. There will be hours of tears and nights of regret. You will wrestle with confusion and struggle with doubts and fears. But despite all the differences, two people with a love for each other and a love for Christ will endure the hardships. Two people whose goals are to serve the Lord in their relationship will last.

If you are single, don’t allow these “goals” pictures force you into a relationship that you’re not ready for or that isn’t right for you. Wait for a guy that you can serve the Lord with. Wait for the guy that values your heart as well as your relationship with God. Pray that God turns you into the woman that you are meant to be before rushing into a relationship just because you’re tired of being alone. Don’t expect falling in love with someone to always be easy. Don’t give yourself false expectations because of all these “relationship goals”. Don’t expect perfection, because trust me, you won’t find it. You’ll have to learn to love his flaws and all the things that make him who he is. You’ll have to struggle at times. You’ll have to be able to put down your pride. You’ll have to learn what it truly means to put another person’s happiness above your own. But it’s beautiful. Despite the hardships, a relationship built around the love of God is truly beautiful. Wait for that kind of love.

Cling to the relationship goals that will bring you into a lasting, godly, relationship. Cling to the goals that will point each of you towards a godly marriage, and ultimately, a godly life.

 

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