I know how you look in the morning every day and all you see is your healthy tummy and your cellulite-loved thighs. I know that you sit by your phone constantly checking for his texts or counting your number of likes. I know you can’t speak, I know you can’t laugh, I know you can’t tell a joke or ask a question without your brain telling you “shut up, you just sound stupid.” You cut others down because you’ve been cut down. You judge others because you’ve been judged. I know you feel unworthy because he told you he loved you, but his actions proved otherwise. I know what they said about you.
“I don’t know how she even has friends”
“She’s gotten fat”
“Of course he dumped her, she was weird anyways”
I know she was your best friend, but then stabbed you in the back. Everyone else understands that class, but you keep failing every test. I know that the reason that you are so sensitive is because you let yourself believe these lies. And every criticism you hear is just one more added to your never-ending list of failures. You feel like all eyes are on you, constantly waiting for you to fall, to embarrass yourself again. I know you feel stupid, because you never should’ve believed him or trusted her. You’re too loud, annoying, quiet, awkward, and clingy. You’re not fun enough, smart enough, nice enough, or skinny enough.
You have your guard up continually because you can’t believe that anyone can see you as anything other than broken and flawed. You follow your friends into places that you know you shouldn’t because it makes you feel accepted. I know you skip meals and claim you’re not hungry.
You’re hurting yourself, you’re hurting the people who love you, and you’re damaging your relationships all because of the way you see yourself.
God does not see you the way you see yourself. When God casts His eyes down from Heaven and gazes on His children, he sees you: blameless, worthy of love, forgiven, and washed white as snow. I’ve written about this before (which you can find here), but just to remind you again: you’re already accepted.
You’re already loved. You are called worthy and blessed and beautiful. You can stop all this. You can let it go.
Giving into these lies and listening to the judgments of the world does more than just damage your heart, it damages your relationships. Instead of facing disagreements with courage and love, you beat yourself down and give up. When you mess up, your guilt swallows you even deeper and instead of humility, you retaliate with pride and anger. You get jealous more easily. You crave attention more often. Trying to cover up your insecurities causes you to act in dangerous and hurtful ways towards others.
I know, because I’ve been there. Actually, I’m still there.
Dear girl, you are L O V E D more than you could ever possibly imagine. And when you fully understand that you ARE LOVED, you will begin to LIVE LOVED.
When you live loved, you love others well too. When you see yourself as somebody loved deeply and unconditionally, you will love others deeply and unconditionally. Because you know you are accepted by God, you won’t crave acceptance from others. You won’t follow your friends to places you shouldn’t be to feel accepted. You won’t give pieces of yourself away to boys who don’t care, because you understand your value.
When you live loved, you won’t need to measure yourself up to others. You can laugh, talk, smile, and cry without worrying about other’s opinions because you know that their opinions are not the ones that matter.
You were chosen before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. God literally thought about YOU before he even created the world, and designed you with purpose. He designed you to thrive, praise Him, to spread love, and to live loved.
God did not design you intricately unique for you to stare at yourself in the mirror and reject all of it.
You were bought with a price, and your worth is far more than rubies. There is no amount of riches in the world that compares to your worth in Christ. Who are we, the creation, to look back up to the Creator, and tell him that he didn’t do it right? Who are we to say that there is something wrong with us, when our Creator tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made?
This web of lies that you allow yourself to believe may seem impossible to fight your way out of. The insecurities run so deep and you’ve been weighed by their chains for so long, that it might seem like you’ll never be free.
You have to sink yourself in God’s Word. You have to dive deep into the truths that the Bible claims about you, and you have to hold on to them dearly. If you want to be free from your insecurities, and if you want to be able to live loved and love well, you absolutely have to spend more time with Jesus than you do with the world. You have to build a meaningful, genuine, strong relationship with your loving, understanding, never-failing Savior. The world will never make you feel loved, but Jesus always will. If you want to feel loved, spend quality time with Him.
I know how exhausting it is to live under a burden of insecurities. There is freedom to be found in your worth in Christ. You can let go of the burdens of self-doubt and fear. You can live well and you can love well when you begin grasp the depth of love that your Creator has for you (which you can only *begin* to do, because no one will ever fully understand it; that’s how DEEP it is). You just sink yourself deep into his loving truths, rather than the world’s lies.
(Ephesians 1:4) (1 Corinthians 6:20) (Proverbs 31:10) (Psalm 139:14)