Soooo today was bad. Mainly because I’m an emotionally driven person and too many little things turn into a big thing and also because I’m in desperate need of some sunny days and vitamin D to get my serotonin kicking again (lol seasonal affective disorder).
Another reason is that my mind is hardcore falling for the comparison game. It just seems like everyone around me is thriving, having a big fun time being successful, getting married and already pursuing their careers, and I’m just kinda…here. Eating “paninis” that I make with our 20 year old waffle maker and watching Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix. As I look around at everyone around me (which is code for: stalk people on Facebook and Instagram) I get more and more and more dissatisfied with things about my life.
“I should go to gym more like she does” (I try SO HARD Y’ALL but ya girl loves to sleep)
“She takes a selfie with no make-up and looks great, maybe I should stop wearing make-up” (this happened a couple weeks ago and I’m still confused with myself)
“They already moved out and live on their own- I still live upstairs in my parent’s house, so I need to find a way to move out”
Just as an additional example: there’s no way I can verify this, but I’m POSITIVE all y’all are making straight A’s with your 4.0’s- and I just made a 65 on a midterm.
So, basically I compare literally everything about myself with literally everything about someone else. And it damages my heart. It makes me feel totally unworthy, incapable, and just less than.
And if I had to guess, some of you reading this feel the exact same way. You look at the lives of those around you, and you cannot believe the ways that God is using them and there’s no way you can believe that God can use you too. You see the ways that others are thriving, and it’s impossible to imagine that you can thrive like that too.
Sweet girl, let me just tell you, those are lies funneled into your heart by the enemy. He plants them there, waiting for you to crumble, so He can pull you away from the truths that you believe in: the truths that tell you that God created you for a purpose. You know deep in your soul that God can use you, but when you feel less than, it is so hard to hold on that truth.
Well there’s a man named Gideon that we read about in the Old Testament and he felt the same way. Gideon was an Israelite that we find in the book of Judges. The Israelites rebelled against God (again), and God allowed a group of people called the Midianites to overtake and oppress them.
An angel soon appeared to Gideon calling him a “mighty man of valour” (Judges 6:12), and tells him that Gideon will be the one to deliver the Israelites out of the hand of the Midianites. Gideon responds by saying that his family is poor, and he is the least of his father’s household. How could he believe that the Lord would use him in such mighty ways? God assures Gideon that He is with him, and Gideon will definitely, for sure defeat the Midianites.
And you know what God did? Exactly what he promised. He gave Gideon the power to defeat the army of the Midianites, whose number was as great as the number of grasshoppers in the field, and delivered the Israelites from their oppression.
God used Gideon in mighty and powerful ways, despite the circumstances that Gideon was in. Gideon thought he was poor, unusable, and unworthy. Yet God rose him up with an army a fraction of the size of the Midianites, and he saved his people.
Don’t ever think that your current circumstances are too far gone for God to reach you. Don’t allow yourself to be so wrapped up in your current situation that you are blinded from the presence of the Lord in your life. God works in ways that the world does not expect. Just because you’re “not measuring up” in the sight of the world, doesn’t mean that God looks at you that way too. God doesn’t look for someone in a healthy financial situation, with a high social status, stellar reputation, or a wealth of material things. God looks for a willing heart.
“But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.” – 1 Corinthians 1:27-31
We don’t have to be strong enough, good enough, wealthy enough, successful enough, or smart enough. Our lives don’t have to look like the life of that girl down the street or the girl in our Monday class. God can (and will) use you and me right where we are, in our own circumstances, and within our own time frame.
Live each day in the joy of expectation. Instead of grumbling about your life, walk through each day expecting God to use you. Because He can, and He will. He’s just looking for a willing heart.
So next time I come to class, and that girl talks about her plans after graduation and the group of people behind me is talking about the A’s they made on our quizzes, I will not allow the little comparison lies to creep into my heart (and you shouldn’t either). I will remind myself that my life does not have to look like theirs, and God will work through my life in any way He sees fit, despite my circumstances. And I will find joy in that (and you should too).